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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825775">Fine Line</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeftJosie/pseuds/HopeftJosie'>HopeftJosie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, Gay Panic, Gay Rights, Slow Burn, The Unsinkable Eight (The Wilds)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:28:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825775</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeftJosie/pseuds/HopeftJosie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>they say there's a fine line between love &amp; hate.</p><p>-</p><p>Toni Shalifoe and Shelby Goodkind share a mutual friend: Leah Rilke. Leah's 18th birthday is coming up, and she wants nothing more than for the both of them to be there. But after an altercation during their first meet, Toni wants nothing more to do with Shelby. </p><p>So, Leah's sets them a challenge: spend time together at least once a day in the two weeks building up to her birthday. She's sure it will work.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shelby Goodkind &amp; Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>287</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>T/W: underage drinking</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leah Rilke had known Toni Shalifoe since they were twelve. That was how old they were when they signed up for basketball practice with the All Cubs.</p><p>During the first meet, Leah had kept to herself. She’d stand there with her hands crossed against her stomach, her head down and her eyes wide and alert. </p><p>She did really enjoy basketball, and she’d been really excited to become part of a team; but what she didn’t enjoy was meeting new people. </p><p>Toni, however, was the complete opposite. </p><p>From the first meet, she had kept her head high and her shoulders back. She was one of the first people to actually speak and answer questions with utter confidence. She would speak loud and clear and never once stumbled over her words.</p><p>Leah found her inspiring. She wanted to be friends with her immediately. </p><p>By the second meet, their coach was choosing captains and ordering them to pick their team. </p><p>Unsurprisingly (and rightly so), Toni was chosen as one of the captains. </p><p>As soon as she came to stand at the front, her eyes settled on Leah - who quickly looked down at the ground as soon as they made eye contact. </p><p>“Toni, pick your first team member.” Coach Baxter picked up his clipboard as he instructed the brunette. </p><p>Leah got comfortable. She had a feeling that since she hadn’t uttered a word to anyone yet, she would be the last to get chosen. It made sense, so she wasn’t too hurt by it.</p><p>“Leah,” </p><p>Her head shot up. Toni was looking right back at her, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. She motioned with her head for Leah to come forward, and after a few seconds of hesitance she did so.</p><p>“I’m Toni,” She introduced herself personally as soon as Leah came to stand beside her. She even offered out her hand.</p><p>“Leah,” She offered shyly, cursing inwardly at herself for being such a bag of nerves around somebody who oozed such self-confidence and assurance. </p><p>Coach Baxter had issued a roll-call at the first meet and gave everyone the chance to mingle, as well as play some basketball (of course). </p><p>A lot of people had managed to make at least one friend, Toni included, but Leah just stayed to the sidelines. So she’d more than appreciated Toni introducing herself one-on-one.</p><p>So, that was how they met. It was also how they had become best friends as time went on. Toni had even managed to bring Leah out of her shell, and soon enough they were both pally with everyone on their team.</p><p>-</p><p>Leah was thirteen when she joined church camp. </p><p>It was her parents idea, but she didn’t hate it. They’d always been a somewhat religious family, and Leah saw this idea coming from a mile off. </p><p>They agreed that she would attend every other weekend; and she did up until the age of sixteen. </p><p>Her first experience at the camp was...weird, to say the least. For some reason she wasn’t expecting it to be mostly full of what she called ‘bible bashers’. </p><p>Sure, she believed in God and she served him in any way that she could. She was happy to do that. But the attendees that she met there were another level of believers. </p><p>Most of them spoke of devoting their entire lives to serving God, and vowing to never drink alcohol, never have sex before marriage and never do drugs - things that little thirteen year old Leah dreamed of doing in high school and college. </p><p>She was shaken up, to say the least. </p><p>“What about you, Leah?” Shelby Goodkind asked. She was about Leah’s age, but way more outspoken than she was - and definitely more into God. </p><p>She was the first one to mention that she wished to devote her life to God by promoting his word and abiding by it fully - so to be honest, Leah was a little scared of her.</p><p>“Oh yeah, for sure.” She stammered out; she’d sort of stopped listening as soon as she realised how extreme they were and honestly...she wanted to go home.  “I agree with everything you just said.” She chuckled apprehensively, hoping what she said related back to whatever they had said.</p><p>Shelby had not stopped smiling this entire time. She was smiling then as she waited for Leah to answer, and continued to smile afterwards.</p><p>“It’s so nice that we’re all on the same page, all here for the same reason.” Shelby addressed the group, who all seemed completely smitten by her. </p><p>She had the harshest southern accent that Leah had ever heard. It suited her, though. </p><p>When the attendees were told that it was ‘lights out’ and time to retreat to their tents, Leah remember that she was sharing it with Shelby.</p><p>It worried her momentarily, but as soon as she saw Shelby’s beaming smile (once again), she realised that she was probably harmless.</p><p>In fact, they stayed up most of the night finding common ground and talking about family, school, hobbies. Leah was surprised by how much they actually clicked. It was that night that brought them closer together - and it stayed that way.</p><p>-</p><p>The first time that Leah introduced Shelby and Toni was at her sixteenth birthday party. </p><p>Leah was trusted enough by her parents to have the house to herself, so she'd decided to invite a couple of friends around. She hadn't introduced them any sooner than that because she knew they were from complete opposite sides of her life, and it wasn't hard to suss out.</p><p>It started off as a small gathering; a few bottles of alcohol placed in the kitchen, some of those traditional red cups wrapped up in plastic and waiting to be opened. But then friends of hers invited plus ones, and then their plus ones told other people and soon enough it was a pretty big gathering.</p><p>Shelby and Toni had merely introduced themselves before Toni wandered off to see their friend from All Cubs, Martha. </p><p>Leah had invited a few friends from church camp, but the wound up coming as soon as things got a little more heated and practically dived out the door as soon as they saw people shouting: “CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” whilst downing a bottle of vodka. </p><p>It freaked Leah out a little too, but as long as people were being respectful of her house, her belongings and her friends, she didn’t really mind what went down. </p><p>Shelby was quite content with the whole thing too. Leah remembered her saying once: "As long as it's not me sinning, I don't mind."</p><p>Leah liked that mindset.</p><p>“It looks like Toni is getting a little ahead of herself,” Shelby commented, nodding towards the kitchen where Toni had just lost at beer pong and was downing her third cup of the bitter beverage. It was dribbling down her chin and onto her top - not a very good first impression. </p><p>This was one of the first times Leah had seen Shelby not smiling. Her eyes were more squinted than usual as she brought her cup (filled with a soft drink) to her lips and judged Toni from afar.</p><p>She hadn’t really predicted this. She had just hoped that, somehow, the two of them would find common ground and get on quite swell - like what had happened with herself and Shelby.</p><p>Martha was good at handling Toni. Leah didn’t mind at all how telling it was that Toni and Martha had become closer friends than she and Toni. That was life, and their friendship had never negatively impacted hers and Toni's.</p><p>Martha grabbed her a paper towel from the island cabinet and pointed at her chin.</p><p>“Is she always like this?” Shelby asked, her eyes never straying from the kitchen.</p><p>“Not really.” Leah shrugged. Toni did tend to drink a lot at parties, especially for someone who was only sixteen, but she never got herself into a horrendous state.</p><p>Leah had seen Toni’s hotheadedness come out a little more often when she was intoxicated, though. </p><p>The temper was great for when they were at a game, but it was a burden whenever they weren’t. Again, though, she and Martha were quite good at calming her down and it was never too often that they had to do it.</p><p>It was a combination of Toni’s bad temper and Shelby’s sudden, unforeseen disapproval that resulted in their falling out.</p><p>Someone who was a little more intoxicated than Toni accidentally spilled their drink all over her shirt.</p><p>Leah knew that it was one that she had only bought earlier that week because it was purchased on a shopping spree they went on together. It had cost Toni $40, which was a lot, and it was white.</p><p>The guy just started laughing, laughing too hard to even apologise. So Toni waited for him to do so - but when he didn’t, she gave him a pretty hard shove.</p><p>He instinctively put his hands out to stop himself and knocked a few drinks off the island in doing so; that’s when Leah started to make her way over.</p><p>“You think this is funny?” Toni bellowed at him, gesturing to her red stained shirt. In her defence, the shirt was practically ruined now.</p><p>“Toni, come on.” Martha took a hold of her arm whilst Leah bent down to pick up the knocked over cups.</p><p>“Here let me help,” Shelby set her drink aside and joined Leah.</p><p>Toni struggled to turn away from the situation. “This is bullshit,” She muttered to herself as the guy got helped up by some friends.</p><p>Shelby lifted her head to see what was happening. Toni was just about to walk away with Martha. </p><p>“So childish,” Shelby huffed, turning her attention back to the spillage on the ground.</p><p>Leah’s eyes widened almost instantly.</p><p>Toni stopped in her tracks, her eyes just about spotting Shelby ducked below the island. “What did you just say to me?”</p><p>Shelby didn’t seem fazed at all by the confrontation, in fact she rose to it. She dusted off any liquid she’d gotten on her hands and placed the now empty cups on top of the island.</p><p>“I said you’re childish.” She looked her in the eyes easily and stood tall. “This is your friend's sixteenth birthday party and you’re kicking up a fuss because you got a little bit of drink on your shirt.”</p><p>Toni arched an eyebrow, took a step closer and pulled on the shirt that was starting to stick to her skin. “You think this is a ‘little bit of drink’?” She mocked and exaggerated Shelby’s accent, which made Leah scrunch her nose and squeeze her eyes shut (though she had to hold in a laugh. It was a typical Toni thing to do).</p><p>“I’m sure there’s another white t-shirt somewhere,” Shelby scoffed at the pettiness.</p><p>Leah decided to finally stand up after collecting the remaining cups from the ground. “Come on guys, I don’t want you fighting at my party.”</p><p>“You know, it’s getting late anyway.” Shelby adopted a softer tone when she addressed Leah. “I think I’m going to head off,”</p><p>“Yeah, I think you’ve had one too many capri suns.” Toni remarked, shaking her head to emphasize her disliking for the blonde before she finally left the room with Martha.</p><p>Shelby just scoffed, an unexplainable smile shadowing her lips for only a second before it disappeared. “I’ll see you in a few days,” She pulled Leah in for a hug before grabbing her things and heading for the door.</p><p>So, it’s easy to say that Leah made sure not to have the two together again.</p><p>Until she made plans for her eighteenth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Toni slammed her locker shut. “Not a chance in Hell,” </p><p>“Oh come on, Toni.” Leah had to walk a little faster to catch up with her. “It’s been two years.”</p><p>“And I carry grudges for a very long time.”</p><p>“But it’s for my eighteenth birthday,” She emphasised the age she was turning in hopes it would somehow sway Toni’s stance.</p><p>Toni just laughed. “Look, I just have a gut feeling that if us interacting at your sixteenth was bad, then your eighteenth will be worse.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make any sense.”</p><p>“Yes it does,” Toni pushed open the door to the girls bathroom. “We’re older, and I can’t speak for Shelly but I now know way more curse words.” She swung her bag onto the row of sinks and pulled out a bottle of floral body spray. It was her new signature smell, she had decided. “And I’m way better at getting under people’s skin.” </p><p>“It’s Shelby,” Leah sighed, resting her back on the wall whilst she waited.</p><p>“I know,” Toni grinned smugly. That was exactly what she meant about getting under people’s skin; it’s the little things, really.</p><p>“Well, I’d really love it if you both could be there.” Leah knew that Toni would be the hardest to convince. “You won’t even have to get me a gift if you just come along.”</p><p>Toni side-eyed her, cleared her throat and retrieved her bag. “We’re going to be late for class.”</p><p>-</p><p>Leah and Toni had a basketball game later that night. </p><p>Toni had a routine for game night. She’d come into the changing room with her headphones on, get changed into the kit with her headphones on and warm up...with her headphones on.</p><p>Everyone on the team knew by now not to talk to her, or even attempt it. They all each had their own little things that got them ready for a game, and they all respected each other’s choice.</p><p>Tonight’s game was an important one, too. A win would result in them getting through to the semi-final of a cup game. </p><p>There was a knock on the dressing room door just as Leah was finishing tying her shoe laces.</p><p>“Leah,” Shelby walked straight in without a second thought and pulled her into a hug. “Gosh, I am just so excited for you to play tonight!” </p><p>She had invited Shelby to come and watch, since she’d gone to a few games in the past, but she definitely didn’t expect her to make her way into the changing rooms.</p><p>“Thank you,” Leah laughed a little awkwardly since everyone was looking her way with barbaric stares. Even Toni had noticed now, and was burning holes into the back of Shelby’s head with her jaw clenched and her stare fixed. “I’m really glad you came.”</p><p>“Oh, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Shelby was beaming. “I’ll leave you to do whatever it is you need to do, I just wanted to wish you luck.”</p><p>Leah was quickly pulled into another tight, comforting hug before Shelby gave a wave and disappeared out the door.</p><p>Toni slammed her locker shut, which captured everyone’s attention, before heading out into the hall where the game was taking place.</p><p>When everyone else started to make their way out, Leah included, the first person she spotted sitting on one of the crowded benches was Shelby.</p><p>Smiling brightly, waving aggressively and cheering loudly.</p><p>She loved it, though. It never really embarrassed her; it made her feel supported.</p><p>The game didn’t start off in their favour. </p><p>Up until half time, they were eight points down. It seemed as though the opposing team was wiping the floor with them, and Toni had missed two clear shots.</p><p>Coach Baxter wasn’t too pleased about it when they all rounded together for a pep talk.</p><p>“It’s not my fault,” Toni immediately deflected when one of their teammates pinned the blame on her. “Shelby Goodkind is up there screaming her big head off, it’s distracting.”</p><p>“It’s motivating, if anything.” Coach Baxter shot her down. “She’s one of the only people here, besides me, who still has hope in this game.” </p><p>Toni just bowed her head and huffed.</p><p>“Come on guys, we can do this. We deserve this win.” Leah tried her best to get the spirits back up.</p><p>It seemed to work too, because seconds into the second half Toni had managed to fight her way to outside of the three-point line.</p><p>Leah tossed her the ball as soon as she spotted her, and Toni easily hurled it into the hoop making it 52-60.</p><p>Everyone in the crowd jumped up to applaud the effort, Shelby included - though she wasn’t cheering, just clapping and her face was blank.</p><p>Even Regan, Toni’s ex-girlfriend who was good friends with a team member of theirs, was up on her feet cheering and applauding.</p><p>Toni frowned at the response, glancing over at Leah with a “what-the-fuck” expression. Leah just shrugged.</p><p>To cut a long story short, the All Cubs finished with a 68-64 win. </p><p>Shelby immediately ran down from the stands to throw her arms around Leah.</p><p>“I am SO proud of you!” She squealed into her ear.</p><p>The floor was completely crowded when most of the spectators came down to congratulate loved ones, or console them. </p><p>It wasn’t crowded enough for Leah not to notice Regan approaching Toni, though.</p><p>“Oh my…” Leah trailed off from over Shelby’s shoulder. The blonde quickly pulled away.</p><p>“What?” Shelby spun around to see what was happening. “What are we looking at?”</p><p>“Toni’s ex-girlfriend is walking over to her,” Leah stared off, completely hooked on what the hell was about to happen next. This relationship wasn’t one that ended civilly - in fact, Leah was more than sure they hadn’t spoken a word to each other since their breakup a year ago.</p><p>“Girlfriend?” Seemed to be the only thing that Shelby picked up on. Now she was looking at Leah with doe-eyes. “I didn’t know that Toni was…”</p><p>“As bent as a roundabout?” Leah couldn’t help but laugh at Shelby’s ignorant bliss. “Come on, Shelby. It’s obvious.”</p><p>Shelby said nothing.</p><p>“They seem to be getting along...fine,” Shelby watched from across the room as the former couple made small talk. </p><p>“Yup, I’m just as surprised as you.” Leah watched for another few seconds before taking hold of Shelby’s arm. “Come on, I’m going to change.”</p><p>-</p><p>A few teammates were going back to one of their houses to celebrate the win, but Leah chose Shelby and a trip to the nearby diner over that. </p><p>She’d assumed that Toni would be going to the party, but was instead told that she was still standing in the hall chatting to Regan. It was a bigger plot twist than them turning the game around. </p><p>They got a window booth at the diner, and it was over a glass of milkshake that Leah decided to ask Shelby about what she wanted to do for her approaching birthday.</p><p>“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Leah poked at the bubbles in her drink with a straw. “Would you be okay with Toni being there for my birthday?”</p><p>Shelby almost laughed, having to bring her napkin to her mouth to wipe at the vanilla cream threatening to spill out. “Are you kidding? It’s your birthday, you don’t need my approval.”</p><p>Leah shrugged. “I thought it would be polite to run it by you.” </p><p>Shelby bit at her straw, narrowed her eyes. “Toni said no, didn’t she?”</p><p>Leah found this moment very cringe-worthy. “She holds grudges.”</p><p>“Of course she does,” Shelby couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that. “Well, I’ll be there no matter what.” </p><p>Leah smiled before being distracted by the bell above the door dinging, welcoming someone.</p><p>Toni peered her head around one side of the diner, then the other side, before she finally noticed Leah. </p><p>She waved her hand to acknowledge her as she started to walk over. Leah felt compelled to inform Shelby, who was too focused on her milkshake to observe the interaction.</p><p>“Toni is coming over,” </p><p>“Hm?” </p><p>Shelby looked over her shoulder just as Toni came to rest her hands on their table. Of course, Toni’s eyes barely grazed over Shelby and instead settled on Leah.</p><p>“I didn’t know you were coming here,” She motioned with her hands for Leah to scoot over, which she did.</p><p>“You were too busy chatting to Regan,” Leah wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, causing Toni to roll her eyes. “Besides it was Shelby’s idea.”</p><p>Shelby snapped out of daydreaming into her milkshake. “Yeah, I love it here.” She smiled, not really knowing who to look at but being civil enough to make sure she glanced over at Toni a few times.</p><p>Toni clearly didn’t have the same mindset. It was obvious in the way her nose crinkled and she squinted every time Shelby spoke, like her voice was unbearably grating.</p><p>“What did Regan say to you?” Leah swiftly changed the subject, eager to know what she had missed. </p><p>“She congratulated us on the game, then asked how I was doing and then asked if I wanted to grab a coffee over the weekend.” Toni recapped very nonchalantly, which was enough for Leah to know that she wasn’t really interested in going back there. </p><p>She kept fiddling with the straw holder as she spoke, her leg bouncing repeatedly as she pushed the holder in small circles around the table.</p><p>Leah was quite a fidgety person if she was in an unnerving environment; but Toni got the jitters even worse than Leah did sometimes - which was strange considering she was also the most confident person Leah had ever met.</p><p>Whenever Leah was jittery, it was for one of the following reasons: she was in an uncomfortable situation, her anxiety was setting in or she was around someone she had a crush on.</p><p>She’d eventually come to notice that sometimes, Toni shadowed this pattern. </p><p>Whether it was the day before a big game, the day before an exam or a job interview, the day she had a class with Regan, Toni would become a fidgeting mess. </p><p>“Leah was telling me about how you don’t want to go to her birthday gathering because you know I’m going to be there,” Shelby suddenly reverted back to their earlier topic, once it had been quiet for too long.</p><p>Toni’s head just snapped in Leah’s direction, just so she could give her an angry stare, before facing Shelby.</p><p>“Yup,” She tapped the table with her knuckles a few times, her leg continuing to bounce. “Sounds about right.”</p><p>Shelby poked her tongue against her cheek. “Well, I don’t think that’s very fair on Leah.” </p><p>“What wouldn’t be fair, is me going and ending up in a fist fight with you.”  </p><p>“I wouldn’t stoop that low.” Shelby brought her straw back to her lips.</p><p>Toni ran her tongue across her teeth, tapped her knuckles on the table a few more times. </p><p>“Okay, you know what,” Leah slapped her hands together. “This sucks. You’re my only two best friends and I want you guys to be able to, at least, tolerate each other so I can have the luxury of being around the both of you - especially on my birthday.”</p><p>Toni bowed her head, glanced up towards Shelby for just a second before looking back down. </p><p>“You had the most minor altercation like two years ago, and it’s resulted in this level of pettiness?” Leah continued to scold the both of them, though it was aimed a little more at Toni than it was Shelby. “This is an intervention. You’re going to spend time together, with or without me, at least once every other day leading up to my birthday.” </p><p>She counted on her fingers. “That’s two weeks. Just fourteen days; whether it’s just grabbing a coffee, taking a walk together, I don’t really care - but you’re doing it.”</p><p>Toni huffed. Shelby seemed a little hesitant. She wouldn’t sit still; she ran her hands over her jeans a few times, looked from Leah to Toni and then back again. </p><p>“Okay?” Leah waited for some type of verbal agreement.</p><p>Both girls mumbled out an ‘okay’, and Leah was content with it. </p><p>“Starting tomorrow. Exchange numbers,” She told them. This brought even more hesitance, but both of them loved her enough to do it. This was important to her. </p><p>Leah gave a wide, bright smile. “Awesome!” She grabbed her bag from beside her, motioned for Toni to move over and climbed out of the booth. “You can either stay and have another milkshake together, or go home.</p><p>Toni practically flew out of the booth, stumbling to stand beside Leah. “I’m fine starting tomorrow,”</p><p>“Me too.” Shelby retrieved her bag and joined them.</p><p>Leah rolled her eyes. They had a long way to go, but she was sure her plan would work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i have no idea how basketball works. like, none at all.</p><p>anyway, I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 :)))</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>T/W: mild homophobia (??)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was the next day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby kept checking her phone, waiting for a notification. She’d prayed in the morning, then showered, ate breakfast, got dressed and now it was 12:30pm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t sure about Toni, but she liked earlier starts. It enabled her to embrace the day, every second of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when noon had come and Shelby still hadn’t heard from Toni, she decided to send her a message.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 12:32: Hi, it’s Shelby. Are we doing something today or what?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She bit the inside of her lip, reread the message twice, then sent it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, she didn’t have to wait too long before her phone pinged.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 12:35: I’m training.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 12:35: Leah told us to spend time together.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby got up from her bed, paced her room and then checked her outfit in the mirror. It was a warm day, so she thought a yellow tank top and a pair of denim shorts would make do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her phone pinged again.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 12:37: I know. I was there. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 12:37: If you want to come over and watch me train from the other side of the fence, you can. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby really found Toni intolerable. She had to remind herself to unclench her jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 12:38: Don’t be absurd. I want us to do this for Leah, I’m just as unhappy as you seem to be about it.</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 12:42: Here’s a smart idea, we’ll go and see a movie. That way we don’t even have to talk to each other :)</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 12:45: I’ll meet you at the movie theater in an hour. </b>
</p><p>
  <span>The hour came quickly. She had to ask her Dad to drop her off, and he grilled her on who on Earth this ‘Toni’ character was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you promise to me that this Toni isn’t a boy?” Her Dad was driving way too slow for her liking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear it,” Shelby smiled through her aggravation of his chosen speed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her Dad side-eyed her, but quickly averted his gaze back to the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had to hold back a sigh of relief when they finally turned onto the street that the movie theatre was on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was already standing outside, her hands shoved into the pockets of her beige coat as she stood slouched. Her head was tipped back, like she was already regretting saying yes to this plan (she was).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stood a little straighter once she spotted Shelby getting out of her Dad’s car, but made sure to shift her weight onto her other leg so that it was clear she was still moody about the entire ordeal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you showed up,” was the first thing that Shelby said to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s for Leah, not for you.” Toni told her, turning on her heel and heading towards the entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn’t even looked at the movie listings online before getting there, so they had no idea what they were going to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was only halfway through the title before Toni went to buy the tickets, and the popcorn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to follow her down the hallway, because Toni didn’t even bother looking over her shoulder to make sure she was still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The most she did was hand Shelby’s ticket over. “You owe me $5,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of the girls said another word to each other. They found their seats, sat down and stared at the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had no idea what film they’d gone into see, and it was too difficult to see the small writing on her ticket once the lights went out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She enjoyed most of the movie. In fact, she enjoyed up until the last...five minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t see it coming, but maybe that was because she raised not to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when the two girl best friends suddenly leaned in for a kiss (a very intimate, passionate kiss) Shelby had no idea how to feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her jaw clenched, her palms turned sweaty, she felt like she had to get up and leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was so wrong. And Toni knew that. How dare she do this? This was 100% with intent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the lights turned on, Shelby tried to be the first one out of that screening room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, she was out into the fresh air trying to regulate her breathing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby,” Toni called after her, finally catching up and putting her hand on her shoulder to balance herself after her jog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare you do that to me,” Shelby stepped out of her reach immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Toni seemed offended, but not really. “Elaborate on that; I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong.” She crossed her arms defensively, but she still didn’t seem as insulted as she was trying to put across. It seemed...rehearsed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes you do,” Shelby took a step forward. “You know my beliefs,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could have sworn that she saw a flash of a smile on Toni’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”I know that you’re a Christian,” Toni’s voice was laced with innocence. “Oh, is this you trying to tell me that you’re a homophobe too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shelby spotted someone look in her direction when Toni said that. They frowned, and shook their head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no hate in my heart,” Shelby attempted to redeem. “But...I do believe that way of life is a sin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is bullshit,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni stormed forward, heading towards the bus stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t I have my own beliefs?” Shelby called after her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni turned around, stretched out her arms and shrugged. “Not those ones.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Shelby had fucked it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tried to think of a way to fix this, but chasing Toni down seemed like too much and soon enough the girl was out of sight anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was nothing left to do but call her Dad to come and get her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Leah - 15:21: Hey! How did it go with Shelby today?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni read the message, then tossed her phone onto the bed whilst she changed into something more comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then her phone started ringing</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Leah.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I was just about to text you back.” She crawled onto bed, laying down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, how was it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a part of Toni’s plan that she hadn’t really thought out. How would Leah take it? Her very last intention was to hurt her, but she wanted to get Shelby stuck in that trap sooo badly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Umm…” Toni trailed off reluctantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh God. What did you do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni hummed whilst she thought. “Nothing too sinister.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Toni,” Leah’s tone harshened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we went to the movies.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To see…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A coming of age story about two best friends falling in love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah was silent for a few seconds. “Oh, that doesn’t seem bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They were two girls.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She heard Leah sigh, loud. “Why would you do that? I told you months ago that her Dad is like, super homophobic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not only her Dad, apparently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what you’re telling me is that you guys fought, again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni leant across her bed to pick up her basketball, which she threw in the air and caught a few times. “It’s her own fault for being a bigot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not a bigot, Toni. Her Dad doesn’t necessarily give them much freewill.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, sounds like a Shelby problem.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni could feel her rage for Shelby coming back even stronger than it had outside the movie theatre. It disguised itself as a rush of heat, creeping its way up to her neck and across her arms before finally making its home in her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be like that,” Leah sighed. “I’m more than sure that she’s harmless.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For some reason, that was the final straw for Toni. “Well Leah, you’re not the gay one!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hurled the ball towards her door, slamming it shut in the process which sent a ricochet of rumbling across her walls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The anger must have, at some point, crawled its way into the ball because once it was out of Toni’s hands, it diminished and was replaced with embarrassment and guilt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” She facepalmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah didn’t speak, for long enough that Toni lost sight of how long it had been quiet for. “I just want you to give her a chance, Toni. Her Dad is an asshole, like completely overtly religious and he’s tried so hard to embed his beliefs into her - but I really, really don’t think they’re beliefs that she truly stands by”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni didn’t say anything, only listened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you honestly think I’d be such good friends with her if I thought she was some horrific homophobe?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No was the answer, of course. Toni knew that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” She mumbled out, sounding like a scolded child.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah laughed at the innocence of it. “I’ve seen how she shifts uncomfortably when he comes into a room and she has friends over, like she’s just waiting for him to speak controversially with his chest.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni could envision Shelby’s hesitant glances at her friends, similar to the look that was plastered on her face the other night at the diner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She feels compelled to agree with him too,” Leah said. “I’ve been there when he’s voiced his opinion on homosexuality, and even though she looks so uncomfortable, she nods along and occasionally gives a ‘amen!’” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah gave a pretty good go at a Southern accent on that last word, which helped to loosen Toni up a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, just try and cut her some slack...for me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni picked some fluff off her jeans. “I will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, when Toni got into bed, she tried to convince herself the right thing to do the following morning was make amends with Shelby.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She argued with herself about it a little, that fire inside of her telling her that she had nothing to feel guilty for, that Shelby was nothing but a bigoted homophobe who thought of herself as superior.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the kinder, more open minded side to her kept reciting everything that Leah told her. She hoped that in the morning, she’d continue to listen to that side.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys enjoyed it :) leave comments! I love reading through them.</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni tossed and turned when her alarm went off the next morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, she picked up her phone and opened up her texts. Her thumbs twiddled, typed a few letters, then deleted them again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni wasn’t used to apologising. She very rarely ever admitted to when she had done something wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 09:12: I’m sorry about yesterday.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She clicked onto another app seconds after sending the text.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regan had posted a photo with some of the girls from All Cubs. It looked as though it was taken minutes after their win the other day; they were all stood on the court. Toni double tapped to like the picture.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 09:15: We don’t have to like each other, Toni. We just have to get used to being around each other enough that it becomes tolerable.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 09:16: Let’s go for a drive. I know a place.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t bother waiting for Shelby to say yes. She got up from her bed, had a shower and then got changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time she checked her phone again, Shelby had texted an: ‘okay’. Which was all Toni needed to head out the door and into her car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby lived in a very well off area. It was quite telling when Toni had to drive far out from her own neighbourhood, and soon enough came into view of long driveways with fancy cars and houses that she literally had to tilt her head back to see fully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” She whispered to herself, coming to a halt outside of the house number that Shelby had texted her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d never felt so out of place. Normally, she was quite proud of her little clunker of a car. But now, it made her feel sort of inferior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what felt like forever (it wasn’t actually that long at all) Shelby finally pulled open her front door; not alone of course. Her Dad stood in the doorway, watching her every move up until she pulled the passenger door shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sort of kept her head bowed, hesitated to look back up at the door, but once she did and realised he was gone she seemed to instantly soften.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her shoulders relaxed, she flipped her hair back over her shoulder and sunk comfortably into the seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is a handy little car,” She commented, leaning forward and checking out the interior a little more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s basically a can,” Toni dismissed as she pulled away from the house. “It was my foster mom’s old car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just nodded along, and the conversation quickly died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni hated uncomfortable silence. Once they were at a stoplight, she plugged her aux cord into her phone and shuffled her playlist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Girl in Red was the first artist who came on (of course it was). Toni had to stop herself from bursting out laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The song was ‘<em>I wanna be your girlfriend</em>’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried to look past the way that Shelby shifted after the line: “<em>I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your lips.”</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni had to remember that Shelby had been raised to shift uncomfortably at content like this. She decided there and then that during their time together, she was going to try her best to change the way Shelby reacted to this stuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The look in your eyes, my hands between your thighs’</span>
  </em>
  <span> was when Toni decided to change the song over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Poor Shelby had only seen two girls kiss for the first time yesterday, the last thing she needed to hear was that. She’d probably combust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that an artist you listen to often?” Shelby ran her hand across her jeans a few times. Toni pegged it as a nervous habit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s called Girl in Red.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just nodded. God, this was awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never heard of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s probably because she’s gay and she sings about gay stuff,” Toni couldn’t stop herself. “I can’t imagine that’s the kind of music they play at church.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t mean it maliciously, this was her attempt at being funny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To make sure that message wasn’t lost in translation, she glanced over at Shelby and smiled. Shelby gave an unreadable one back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, they pulled up outside of Everwood Park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni had been going there since she was twelve. It was about a twenty minute walk from the trailer park where she lived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she was first fostered by her current parents, she wasn’t very happy about it. But to be fair, she was like that with any family that fostered her before them. Just for those first few months, she liked to cause mayhem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So whenever she’d get into trouble and inevitably be scolded for her, she’d run away for about two hours. This was where she would come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni parked up the car and the two of them stepped out of it, heading towards the pathway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a beautiful park, covered in Evergreen trees and acres of grass. Toni really loved it here. It made her feel quite tranquil, which was why it had always been her perfect escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hoped that bringing Shelby here would help keep things calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni couldn’t ever remember a time when she was walking through the park and her rage had returned. It was like the breeze that would pass through the trees would also pass through her, and blow away any remaining aggression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two girls didn’t say anything to each other for a while. They walked slowly, embracing the stillness of it. Maybe this was something they both needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Shelby was facing away, towards the scenery. Toni almost agreed until… “The things that God can create.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni honestly wanted to turn back towards the car - but she closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and then blew it away. “It’s a beautiful view.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you come here a lot?” Shelby asked, turning to face Toni now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I always have done.” Toni kicked a few stones from below her feet. “Regan and I would drive down here most nights, but we’d just sit in the car and listen to music.” She looked out towards the view. “Walking through it is normally just...my thing,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t really know what to say. Should she thank her for letting her come along? That would be...weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My ex, Andrew, and I used to go for walks along the beach at sunset.” She smiled to herself, looking towards the ground. “It was one of the only romantic gestures he ever really did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni tried to care enough to maybe ask a probing question, she really did try. But for some reason, she was just picturing them skipping down the beach singing hymns and praising the Lord for his ‘wonderful creations’ and it really threw her off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked halfway around the park in silence - which Toni would have found unbearably awkward if it hadn't been quite comfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them were really paying much attention to the other, they were just taking in the scenery and smiling at the few dogs they saw on their way around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you had your 18th yet?” Shelby asked as they started slowly walking back towards the parking lot, her mind drifting to what Leah’s birthday might be like at this rate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni really felt like this was scraping the barrel of ‘conversation starters’, but she amused her anyway. “Yeah, I turned 18 in February.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Shelby smiled. “It was October just gone for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni pursed her lips, biting back a remark that ended up falling out of her mouth anyway. “I bet you went wild.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although she wasn’t actually looking at Shelby when she said it, she felt as though she could literally hear Shelby’s features drop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what did you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni pulled her keys out her pocket. “I had a house party.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds mature,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s tone dropped. Toni turned to face her, looked her up and down and contemplated whether or not to bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling up outside of Shelby’s house, Toni didn’t really know how she should say goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” She whispered to herself as Shelby unbuckled her seatbelt. “Thanks for coming to see me today, after yesterday and stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby struggled to hide back a smile, so she let it show. She was appreciative of Toni trying to correct her error. “Thank you for apologising.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni spoke up again just as Shelby reached to open her door. “But, you should know that I’m not apologising for like...being who I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby wasn’t facing Toni. Her shoulders slouched, and she slowly rested back into the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni carried on. “I’m just apologising for like...going about it in the wrong way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going about what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trying to show you that the LGBT community isn’t this gigantic, taboo, satanic thing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s eyes fell shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni didn’t really know what to make of that reaction. It was too late to say anything further, anyway. “I think your Dad is standing at the door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby quickly sat forward, peering out the window as subtly as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood with his arms crossed, his head high and his shoulders back. Toni thought that he looked a little too Alpha male to be a pastor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go,” Shelby hurried out, already climbing out of the car before Toni could say anything further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the door was slammed shut and Shelby was joining her Dad at the top of the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tilted his head down a little, getting a better look in the car and inevitably locking eyes with Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t look away, not at first. But after about three slow seconds, she broke the staring contest and started up the engine.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think :))</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lead had a really tough week at school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three assignments due, intense basketball practices given that their next game was a semi final and... she got her period.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Leah - 10:04: How has it been going with Shelby?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 10:05: I haven’t seen her, or spoken to her, since we went to the park two days ago.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah rolled her eyes and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Leah - 10:10: Sounds promising.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She got ready for the day after sending the text, already knowing how she wanted to spend it.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 10:23: Idk what to tell you. We’ve become somewhat civil, but we just don’t seem to click. Is civility not enough for you?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Leah - 10:25: Civility will do. Wanna meet me and her at the diner? 12pm?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She could tell by the lack of urgency in the response that Toni didn’t really want to come. So whilst she waited, she finished off the last of her due assignments.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 11:31: Ok</b>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>1pm came and Toni still hadn’t shown up at the diner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah and Shelby took it as her being a 'no show', so ordered their food by 12:30.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember that one girl who snuck a flask of vodka into the camps?” Leah recalled, as they reminisced on their church camp days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my Lord,” Shelby instantly erupted into laughter. “So many girls woke up hungover the next day; you included.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah bowed her head in playful shame. “Nora had to hold my hair back for most of the night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s why I do my best to steer clear of liquor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell above the door dinged, catching their attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Toni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby took one look, then started to poke at her fries with her fork. She shifted a little bit, cleared her throat and avoided eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah dramatised looking at her watch. “Hm, my watch must be an hour late. Oh wait, that’s you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni just rolled her eyes, shimmied into the booth besides Leah. “I got distracted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By something important, I hope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni rested her elbows on the table and ran her hands across her face. “Regan called me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looked up from her food. Leah stared at Toni, eyebrows raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Removing her hands from her face, she locked eyes with Shelby, then with Leah. “She was telling me that she misses me, and really wants us to catch up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I take it that means you didn’t get coffee with her over the weekend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni nodded. “I just feel like I can’t go back there. I feel like...I’m a completely different person to who I was when she and I started dating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe that’s because you are a different person now.” Leah shrugged. “It’s been like, what...a year? A lot can change in a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess it can.” Toni shifted, began to fidget with a straw wrapper that was on the table. “It was a year ago today that three of us stayed in my trailer when the foster fam went away for the night.” She glanced at Leah, who widened her eyes at a memory and started to chuckle. “Maybe that’s why she called me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby watched with a frown on her face, feeling a little left out but eager to know what the hell they were talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah of course,” Leah started sarcastically. “She must have gotten heated at the memory of me banging the hell out of your bedroom door and telling the both of you to keep your noise down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair of them were laughing now, whilst Shelby felt a strange knot being twisted in her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that was at 3AM?” Leah said through the laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby dropped her fork down onto her place (with full intention). It was loud enough for the both of them to stop laughing and look at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Shelby forced a chuckle. “It slipped from my hand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looked at her through narrowed eyes. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewed on it for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m going to grab something to eat at home,” Toni told Leah suddenly. “I’m going to a party soon, so I need to go back and shower anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Leah watched as Toni stood up. “Well, make sure you have something to eat before you start drinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni just nodded, barely gave Shelby a second glance before walking at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah looked on as Toni left, then turned her attention back to Shelby. “Why did I just sense tension?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Shelby failed at playing dumb as she continued to poke her fork around her food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like...you guys barely breathed in each other’s direction, let alone looked at each other.” Leah tried to analyse the expression on Shelby’s face. “I thought you guys were getting along better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are,” Shelby shrugged. “It doesn’t mean we like each other, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah rolled her eyes and nestled her back into the booth. “I want you two to like each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s clear to see that we’re total opposites.” Shelby pouted when she noticed how saddened Leah looked. She reached her hand across the table to hold Leah’s. “Just give it time, okay? I promise you, your birthday will be perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby woke up that night at 2AM to a phone call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, she thought she was dreaming - but then saw the space at the side of her bed glowing from the light of her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lazily reached over to grab it, squinting to read the name on the screen: </span>
  <b>Toni</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” She rubbed at her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a voice she recognised, but it wasn’t Toni’s. It was higher in pitch, and a little too innocent sounding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then a name popped into her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nora?” Shelby sat up now; this was too confusing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey Shelby.” Nora said. There was background noise; other voices that Shelby couldn’t quite decipher. “Um...Toni is a little too drunk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby frowned. I mean...it wasn’t necessarily a shock. “Okay…?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We tried calling Leah, but she didn’t answer and you were the next person on her call log.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was just about to answer when another voice spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give me the phone, Nora.” They said, their voice getting closer to the mic with each word. “Hello? This is Fatin. Your friend is way over the limit and you have to come and pick her up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t drive.” Was the only thing that came out of Shelby’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a little suspicious but ok, can you get an Uber?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! We’re texting you the address. See you in ten.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the call got cut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So there were two things on Shelby’s mind: A. What the fuck? B. How the hell was she going to sneak out the house at 3AM?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hiiii :) idk why but fatin's dialogue just seem really...right. lmao</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay<br/>pls feel free to follow my twitter &amp; become my friend. I don't have many 'the wilds' mutuals</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shelby climbed out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a denim jacket (which, thankfully, her keys were in).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened up her bedroom door and tip-toed out into the hallway. She could hear her parents sporadic snoring from a mile off; lucky, they weren’t lightsleepers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had never snuck out of the house before. She’d thought about it, which is why she wasn’t totally freaking out right now, but she had never done it. She had never had a reason to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be totally honest, she wasn’t even a hundred percent sure why she was doing it now. The thought stopped her just as she was making her way down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was she doing this? She could get into some real trouble with her parents if they found out about it, and being grounded at eighteen was just embarrassing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Toni needed help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t like Toni, though. And Toni didn’t like her. There was no way in hell that if the roles were reversed, Toni would be doing this for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But just because Toni was a bit of a shitty person in that respect, it didn’t mean Shelby was. Shelby was a good person. A child of God. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, she continued to creep her way down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d ordered an Uber, and stood by the front door whilst she waited for it to arrive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like it took forever. She kept glancing cautiously up at the stairs any time she heard a little creak of the wooden floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until finally, she heard the quiet rumbling of a car engine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The address that she had to go to was ten minutes away. Her eyes were drifting to the meter, not that she cared about how much the journey was going to cost but because it was right in front of her line of view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They eventually pulled into a quiet street. Almost all the lights in the houses were off, but then she spotted one that was lit up like a damn Christmas tree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was music playing too, not overly loud but loud enough that Shelby was sure if she lived in a few doors down, she wouldn’t be getting much sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A group of girls were on the lawn: three of them sat down, another two stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only upon closer inspection that Shelby was able to recognise the brunette sprawled out on the ground, her head resting in the lap of another girl whilst a second brunette sat beside them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” She said to the driver, climbing out of the car as soon as he halted it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” One of the standing girls said, flicking her cigarette ash to the ground. Shelby recognised her voice from the phone call: Fatin. Fatin came to approach Shelby - Nora followed behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby,” Nora offered her arms out to the blonde who took her into her embrace. Shelby hadn’t seen her since camp almost eighteen months ago. This was the last place she was expecting to reunite with her. “She got...really drunk,” Nora pulled Shelby along, coming to a stop at Toni’s feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl who was kind enough to let Toni use her lap as a pillow looked up at Shelby. An air of realisation passed over the two girls upon eye contact. “Shelby Goodkind?” Dot Campbell said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Dot!” Shelby finally realised. They went to the same school. This was getting too eerie. How had three of these people, from very different parts of her life, managed to cross paths in one night?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your friend is like...out of it,” Dot nodded towards Toni, who literally was the definition of “out of it”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes were closed, her jaw was slack, her entire limbs were slack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys able to help me get her into the cab?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot nodded, and whoever was sitting beside her did too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get her legs,” The other girl said, standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be careful, Rachel.” Nora inputted timidly from beside Shelby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was then that Shelby remembered Nora mentioning a ‘Rachel’ at camp. Her sister, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not an imbecile, Nora.” Rachel bit back, taking hold of Toni’s ankles and assisting Dot in lifting her from the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nora pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bowed her head. She reminded Shelby of a scolded puppy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay well, I’m going back inside.” Fatin said as she tossed her cigarette bud to the ground, heading back towards the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had never seen a house look so alive. Every single light was on, the door was wide open, and she could practically feel the vibrations coming from the music which she assumed was in the back room. She could feel the thumping from the song, but couldn’t actually hear it very clearly at all. It just sounded like a continuous beat; like ‘rave’ music.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot and Rachel were able to get Toni in the backseat, but not without some type of groan of disapproval coming from her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna have to slide in next to her,” Rachel turned to address Shelby. “She won’t sit up. She needs your lap as a headrest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A headrest? For a drunken Toni Shalifoe? No fucking way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Shelby’s nose must have visibly scrunched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dot chuckled, pulling up her jeans which had started to slip during the struggle to get her in the cab. “You came to rescue a girl who you clearly don’t even like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just shrugged. “Look as a Christian, I do my best to be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s really kind of you,” Nora fidgeted with her hands, smiling at Shelby. “She’ll really appreciate it in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That reminded Shelby of something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do any of you know her address?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All three of them mumbled out of some type of ‘no’. This night just kept getting better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then,” Shelby thanked the girls before getting back into the car, where Toni rested her head on her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole way home, Shelby worried about how the fuck she was meant to sneak back into her house with someone this wasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took two people to get her in the cab. Which meant she’d have to ask the cab driver for help getting her out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even then, how was she supposed to get her up the stairs? She wasn’t asking the driver to help her to that extent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to try and wake her up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni,” She whispered, tapping the girls face a few times. Toni just squeezed her eyes tightly shut for a moment, licked her lips, then went back to looking dead. “Toni.” Shelby called a little louder and tapped a little harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grumbled something, then slowly opened her eyes a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whites of her eyes were practically pink. Her eyelids were heavy to the point of making her look like she’d just woken up from a year's worth of sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey.” Shelby called softly, her hand still resting against her cheek. “Stay awake for me, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni grumbled something, again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay.” Shelby didn’t want Toni panicking. She was in the back of some random cab with a girl she didn’t even really talk to (or like). If she was sober enough to realise that, she’d probably freak the fuck out. “You’re with me. You’re going to have to stay at my house tonight because I have no idea where you live, and it’s 4AM.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck that,” was what Shelby could make out from Toni’s slurred speech. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m not a massive fan of it either.” She whispered, mostly to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what felt like an hour (it was ten minutes), the driver pulled up outside of her house. He gave her the help she needed, right up until they got to the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Shelby was on her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was being a deadweight. She was completely leaning into Shelby and barely even standing.</span>
  <span>“Fuck,” Shelby cursed as she got the door open and almost fell through it. “I really need you to be more conscious.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni hummed in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She placed her keys down as quietly as she could and pushed the door shut. It was then that she rested Toni against the door and took a hold of her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toni,” She got as close to her face as possible. “Toni, look at me.” Shelby used one of her hands to lightly smack her face...again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It worked though, as Toni finally peeled her eyes open. She almost freaked out at how close Shelby was to her though, and tried to push her away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wake. the. Fuck. up.” Shelby tapped her face again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m awake.” Toni whispered, a gush of breath engulfing Shelby’s senses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She almost coughed. She’d never smelt this much alcohol on a person before. It was like Toni had swallowed an entire fucking bar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you wake my parents up, you’re going to be sleeping on the damn street and I will be grounded for the rest of the year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni scoffed lazily, almost dropping to the floor due to the sudden movement of her chest. Shelby had to grab her tighter. “Your parents still ground you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby had to take a deep breath. “Just...help me get you up the stairs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna have to be more than wasted for you to get me into bed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby almost went slack at that. That feeling came back again...that knotting in her stomach, the lump in her throat that made it hard to swallow, the tension in her jaw. She could feel disgusted disguised as heat creeping up her neck, spreading across her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it, Toni.” Her tone lowered, adopting one more assertive. “Work with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni just sighed. “Get the fucking cross out of your ass, Shelby.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, she leaned a little further forward from the door and took a (very heavy and unstable) step forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby took Toni’s arms, wrapped them around her neck and snaked her own arm across Toni’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was fucking weird. Shelby had merely ever even grazed hands with Toni, and now their bodies were pressed together?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weird. Fucking. Night.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wanted to end this chapter here bc the next chapter is gonna get a lil heated (in more ways than one).</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>T/W: mention of homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Toni became a little more responsive when they were on the stairs, actually making the effort to put one foot in front of another (though she almost completely missed a few steps).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your stairs are moving.” She slurred as they got to the final few steps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, that’s you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like the longest walk ever getting Toni down the hallway. Shelby’s whole body tensed when it came to getting Toni past her parents room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exhaled out all the agitation once she closed her bedroom door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, the next step was getting Toni onto the bed - though she seemed to have no issue at all finding it herself. As soon as Shelby had closed her door and turned back around, Toni was sprawled out on the mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby brought her hand to her mouth, stifling a laugh. “At least take your damn shoes off,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of her biggest pet peeves was shoes on her bed. Why on earth would anybody put their filthy shoes on someone’s bed?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby was just unfastening Toni’s laces when the brunette took a deep breath. “Regan, I can do that myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her movements came to a sudden halt. She glanced up at Toni, who lay completely oblivious with her eyes closed, before letting go of the shoe and causing Toni’s leg to drop off the mattress a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She decided not to correct her. It didn’t matter anyway, she thought Toni was too out of it to even notice her error.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was probably imagining that she was in Regan’s house - not Shelby’s. She probably wished that Regan was the one who had come to her rescue, that she was the one taking off her shoes and putting her to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These were the thoughts going through Shelby’s mind as she stood by her drawers and put on a pyjama shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slammed the drawer shut, causing it to rattle and her cactus to almost fall off. </span>
  <span>Toni just about raised her head at the sudden sound, staring at Shelby through squinted eyes for some type of explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t have one. The reasoning for the heavy-handedness was lost on her. “Sorry,” She said through a hesitant smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni came too enough to kick off her shoes, leaving them at the foot of the bed. She even managed to shimmy out of her skinny jeans just as Shelby started to approach the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She retrieved the fleecy blanket that had been neatly folded at the bottom of her bed, then pulled out the drawer beneath her bed to get a more padded bed throw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you doing?” Toni asked, lazily slipping beneath the covers. Her hair was a mess and her t-shirt creased as she flopped her head down against the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sleeping on the floor,” Shelby said matter-of-factly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do that. It’s your bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t say anything, just looked from the empty space beside Toni to the floor, where she had been thinking about setting up camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Toni spoke up again, her voice rough but tone gentle due to her somnolent state. “I’m not going to try and feel you up; prissy church girls aren’t my type.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby decided against retaliating. After all, the bed was comfier than the floor and she’d much rather be sleeping on the cosy mattress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was so careful about getting into bed. She did it slowly, like even her leg accidentally brushing against Toni’s was going to be enough to make her get on the floor instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was something Toni easily picked up on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ, Shelby.” Toni couldn’t help but feel attacked by her actions. “It’s not fucking contagious.” She sat up now, the offence she had taken seemingly absorbing any alcohol that was left in her system and turning it into anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just turned onto her back and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re that fucking skeeved out about sharing a bed with me, I’ll get on the floor.” Toni threw back the covers to get out, but a hand on her wrist stopped her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Shelby barely even moved. She was still on her back, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I’m sorry. I’m not skeeved out,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, actions speak louder.” Toni stayed sitting up, not yet ready to lie back down beside someone as irritating and rude as Shelby Goodkind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like she could hear her thoughts, Shelby took her hand away. “I am trying, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To what? Not see me as some disgusting sinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby cringed at the last word that came from Toni. She’d heard it plenty of times when she’d eavesdropped in on her father’s conversation therapy sessions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we not have this conversation?” Shelby felt herself becoming tense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Toni flipped her position so that she was now facing Shelby, her legs crossed in front of her. “If we’re ever going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>at least </span>
  </em>
  <span>civil, this is a conversation we need to have.” When Shelby didn’t say anything else, Toni spoke again. “You do see me being gay as a sin, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been raised to think this way, Toni.” Shelby attempted to justify, pulling herself upwards as to not feel inferior with Toni towering above her. “You can’t keep getting mad at me when this is all I know,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And all I know is feeling this way and getting singled out for it. Do you know how many times I’ve had people tell me that I’m going to burn in Hell?” Toni leaned forward, placing her hand on the mattress to keep her balanced. “That I’m a disgusting abomination? That I’m unnatural?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby began to squirm a little. She’d heard many people around her use phrases similar to the ones Toni was using now. As a child hearing these things, she always felt like it was really harsh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then she was taught that homosexuality was a choice delivered by the Devil, and those that accepted it had fallen victim to his temptation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In her teenhood, Shelby had never (consciously) met anyone who was lgbt+. There were a few people in her school that she’d heard were part of that community, but she had never engaged with them; not out of spite or bitterness, but simply because she’d never had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now she’d met Toni. Literally the only lgbt+ person that she had knowingly interacted with. It was a lot for her to take in and honestly, she had no idea how to act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that you’ve been through that,” Shelby finally said. “Nobody deserves to be told those things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet you spend your Sundays with the people who say those things to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to say, Toni?” Shelby felt herself getting quite defensive now. Surely Toni couldn’t blame her for the things that other Christians (and those alike) had said to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to think for yourself.” Toni raised her tone a little, causing Shelby to instinctively lean forward and put her finger on the brunette's lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything felt so still for a minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s eyes dropped to Shelby’s finger. Then for just a second, Shelby could have sworn she saw Toni glance towards her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was when she took her finger away. “I didn’t want you to wake my parents up.” She explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni merely looked towards the door. “You’re 18, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’m guessing you don’t believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy anymore.” Toni didn’t bother waiting for an answer, it was rhetorical anyway really - Shelby could already see where this was going. “Why do you still believe what you’ve been taught about gay people?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t have an answer, other than the fact that she valued everything her parents said. She loved them and wanted to never doubt their views on life. She also wanted them to be proud of her - going against their views would surely prevent that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s what I’m always surrounded with,” She began to explain. “Believe it or not, you’re the first gay person that I’ve fallen into a disagreement with.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably because I’m the only one who has challenged you. Not to mention, I'm probably the only gay person you've knowingly talked to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby huffed, and massaged her temple with her fingers. “Could we just...go to bed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Toni shrugged, finally coming to lie back down. “It’s good to know that we’re still at square one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Toni turned to her side so that her back was facing Shelby - who had this strange pool of guilt in her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minutes passed by with Shelby listening to nothing but the sound of Toni’s steady breathing beside her. With every breath she took, the warmth of the covers were lifted from Shelby and replaced with a cold draft. It was all that she could feel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since Leah confirmed to her that Toni was gay, it seemed to be a dominating thought in her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thought about Regan, the things that Toni saw in her: she was beautiful, had a bright smile and a soft voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thought of their relationship together and what that might have entailed. Every now and then, when it was late at night, she found herself thinking about Toni’s hands making their way across Regan’s skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How Toni’s voice might have sounded when she was whispering things into her girlfriend’s ear, how rough or gentle her touches might have been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes the thoughts got her to sleep, and other times they were what kept her awake. They were intrusive little things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your breathing is fucking deafening,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby jumped at the sudden sound, then sighed upon realising that it was just Toni. “Sorry, but that’s just how I breathe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like you’re about to have a panic attack.” Toni shifted around until she was lying comfortably on her back. “Or you’re like...having a wet dream,” She laughed at that, like the idea of it was so unbelievable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say that like I don’t...have those kinds of dreams,” Shelby felt a little insulted by Toni’s laughter. Just because she was a Christian, didn’t mean she wasn’t also a normal teenage girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t even imagine how fucking vanilla they must be,” Toni continued to tease. She couldn’t help it. She liked tormenting Shelby more than she’d ever admit; it was like her own personal retaliation against the embedded homophobia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’ve stricken up another conversation with me just to poke fun, I’d rather we just went to sleep.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni turned to face Shelby, her hand pressed against her face to keep her upright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are they about Andrew?” Toni ignored what Shelby had said. “Or...like, Channing Tatum or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not having this conversation with you.” Shelby squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the way Toni’s hot breath kept hitting her neck. There was still a hint of alcohol in it, and for some reason that made it even harder for Shelby to ignore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me out here, I’m trying to think of cliche men that straight girls tend to take a liking to.” Toni hummed in thought. “Oh, Ryan Gosling. I bet that’s it. I’m sure I read somewhere that his parents are mormons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t say anything, just kept her eyes shut and tried to ignore the way she could feel the warmth of Toni’s presence. She was just inches away. One leg jolt, and they’d be skin to skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t tell anyone, you know.” Toni lowered her tone to a whisper. Shelby shuddered. “Whatever happens tonight can just...stay in the room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was just trying to get a rise out of her, but the next thing she felt was Shelby’s hand across the back of her neck and their lips crashing together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was sudden, and rough. Toni fell onto her back and Shelby refused to let go. She had to press gently against the blonde’s shoulders to get her to loosen up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni parted her lips just slightly, inviting Shelby in. But when no further move was made, it was Toni who swiped her tongue against her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby made an unmistakable sound at that, instantly greeting Toni’s tongue with her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her parents' door clicked open. There were padded footsteps, then the bathroom light switch clicked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just what Shelby needed to bring her out of her whatever damned daze she had just fallen into.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She threw herself to the other side of the bed so abruptly, you’d think she had just been electrocuted. She laid on her back, breathless. Toni did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby didn’t move another muscle until the bathroom light was turned off and the parent made their way back to the bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding and brought her hand to her mouth, like she couldn’t believe where it had just been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby,” Toni addressed her cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Shelby kept her hand over her mouth. “Please, don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned to her side, where she stayed for the rest of the night dozing in and out of sleep. When she was awake, she prayed. When she was asleep, she had night terrors filled with isolation, whispers, stares...and loneliness - that was the worst one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to make this right. That’s what she would start to do when the morning came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a bird singing, loud enough to have Shelby believe it was perched right on her window ledge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun shined right through her netted curtain and directly into her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tucked her head under her blanket to shield her eyes, but was already awake enough for her mind to replay the events of the night before to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby scurried out of the covers, sitting upright and looking to where Toni had been laying just hours earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby found herself scanning the room; like Toni would just appear somewhere there but t</span>
  <span>here was no trace of Toni to be found. Her side of the bed had been made, her clothes and shoes missing from the foot of the bed. It was like she had never even been there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby checked the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Leah - 07:31: Hey! I’ve just woken up to like five missed calls from Toni’s phone and then a text telling me that she was spending the night with you instead..?? what's going on?</b>
</p><p>She runs a clammy hand across her face before typing back.</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 09:34: She got wasted. Her friends called me when you didn’t answer and I took care of her at my place :) </b>
</p><p>
  <span>There was distant, lively chatter coming from her family in the kitchen. It beckoned her downstairs, reminding her that today was a fresh start. But then came the bitter reminder: she had a lot of praying and begging to do. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>T/W: very mild homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Leah and Toni had decided to go for a run later that afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you even up for a run after how wasted you allegedly were last night?” Leah spoke through the phone, sorting through her wardrobe in search of leggings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m a bad bitch,” Toni was doing the same thing (though a little more aggressively and hurriedly). “I don’t think I was...that bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah scoffed. “Shelby said you were wasted. I can only imagine how drunk you had to be to agree to spending the night at her house.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni froze up for a moment. “To be honest, once I laid down I started to sober up a little. I can remember like, everything after getting to Shelby’s room.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming there isn’t much to remember.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing at all; bickering and then snoring.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni wasn’t sure why she decided against telling Leah about what happened; especially since she usually told Leah everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She then came to remember the blatant terror in Shelby’s voice. The way her voice wavered and her hand stayed fixed over her mouth, like it would somehow reverse what had happened if the last thing it had touched was her own fingers rather than Toni’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please, don’t.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I’ll meet you at Red Fern park in like...an hour?” Leah’s voice pulled Toni from her memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She agreed blindly, still somewhat dazed. “Yeah, sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting the phone aside, Toni reached into her drawer to grab a sports bra. Upon doing so she noticed her hand looked a little bare - like it wasn’t even her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was sure that usually, there was a silver band around her middle finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was definitely there last night, because she remembered fiddling with it when she was laying in bed trying to get to sleep. And it was there when she was putting her jeans on because she recalled readjusting it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must have dropped it on the stairs, or near the door - it didn’t really matter because either way, she was fucked. It was in Shelby Goodkind’s house; which meant having to go back there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the Goodkind household, it was blueberry pancakes for brunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only her mom, sister and brother were in the kitchen. But she was used to that. On a Saturday morning, Dave Goodkind usually tended to a conversion therapy session.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was what Shelby had heard when she was coming down the stairs. He was in the front room, which was basically his office. Two grey sofa chairs, a small cream leather sofa and a brown coffee table, which was always covered in an array of religious textbooks (never really any room for coffee, ironically) made up the space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few pretty framed paintings on the fern green walls and big bow windows brought a false comfort to the room. It made it feel warm and welcoming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And God, in your wisdom, give us faith to be what You intended.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle was a recurring client of her Dad’s. A man with homosexual tendencies that he was terrified of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Father, we ask for Your guide and Your grace in the face of temptation, and we hope that You are here in this room with us today to show Kyle the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby walked by slowly, always intrigued by the conversation that took place behind the glass door (which, for some reason, was always open just a crack). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” Shelby beamed once she stepped into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Darlin’.” Her mother approached her with a pan full of pancakes, placing two of them onto the plate in front of Shelby. “You look a little tired this morning, are you feeling okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby gave a half smile. “Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, you’re on your phone too much.” Her mom set the pan back on the stove. “That blue lights that come off of it are no good for your brain - or your skin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just nodded along, picking up her cutlery and cutting into her pancake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh good,” Her dad came through the doorway, smacking his hands together enthusiastically. “Everyone is up.” He pressed a kiss to the side of his wife’s head almost reflexively, then began to hum a song that Shelby knew all too well (he sang ‘Saturday in the park’ by Chicago every Saturday morning).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it going in there?” Shelby’s mother asked, her voice low like she didn’t want the little ones to hear. </span>
  <span>Dave sighed. “We’re making progress.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother acknowledged with a nod, taking a seat at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shelby,” He turned to address her after chugging a glass of water. “Did you happen to take a midnight trip downstairs last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She almost brought her pancake back up. “Hm?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dad narrowed his eyes. “I found a ring on the doormat by the front door this morning.” He brought his glass to his mouth again. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen you wearing a ring but, I can’t imagine who else it belonged to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, fuck. Fuck. FUCK.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby remembered feeling a ring on Toni’s hand when she was helping her up the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” She cleared her throat in hopes of helping her pancake go back down. “Yeah, it’s mine. I went to get a glass of water, it must have slipped off my hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave seemed to buy it. He reached into his back pocket, pulled out the ring and handed it to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Shelby went to grab it, he pulled back and clasped his hand. “You need to be more careful next time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just looked at him, and he looked right back at her. His eyes were squinted, like he was trying to see through her (or already did). He gave a pursed smile, then placed it into her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni and Leah were on their second lap around the lake at Red Fern. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then I noticed I’d tried to call Regan twice,” Toni told her, panting a little as she jogged along. “They were both cancelled calls, though. I think it was quite obvious to her that it was a drunk call. It was literally 1AM.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re embarrassing.” Leah couldn’t hold back an eye roll. “Did you and Shelby even talk when she got there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean...I was out of it up until we got upstairs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Leah left it at that. The rest of their run was mostly spent in silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All that Toni could think about was having to go back to Shelby’s house. Maybe she could get Shelby to drop it at her trailer  - but that was inconvenient. She couldn’t even fucking drive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni glanced at her watch. “Shall we start heading back? I have a few errands to run.” She had to get this ‘errand’ over with. ASAP.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah just agreed. The pair of them started towards the exit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before they parted ways and Toni was stepping into the shower...and having typical ‘shower thoughts’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if Shelby’s dad answered the door? Even if she texted Shelby to let her know, her dad seemed invasive enough to just stand guard between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should she say something about the kiss? Surely not. That would be a bad idea. Shelby might even punch her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, what was she supposed to do? Just ask for the ring and then leave again? That would be awkward, and probably impolite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d never been in a position like this before. Then again, she’d never had an overtly Christian girl come onto her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she was sitting on the edge of her bed wrapped up in a towel, she picked up her phone and opened her messages.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 13:44: Hey. I think I dropped my ring when leaving your house this morning. Am I able to swing by and get it?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Swing by’? Was she a middle aged man? Jesus Christ. It was too late, anyway - the message had been sent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now all she could do is hope that Shelby would say yes. So, whilst she waited (and hoped) she started rooting out an outfit.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 13:50: My dad found it, so I had to tell him it was mine. I might have to meet you somewhere so that he doesn’t see me handing it back to you. </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 13:51: Do you want to get a coffee somewhere?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 13:53: Could we just meet on the corner of my street or something? </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was a little taken aback by that reply. Normally she was the one trying to get out of plans and Shelby was the one trying to force them, for Leah’s benefit.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 13:53: I can be there within an hour. I’ll text you to let you know.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing more to be said, so Toni threw on her trainers and grabbed her car keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, she still had Shelby’s address stored in her phone and pulled up on the corner of the street within about fifteen minutes. She texted Shelby, letting her know where she’d parked. Shelby read it within seconds, but it was a few more minutes until she spotted her making her way up the streets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her steps were hurried, and every few seconds she was looking over her shoulder like she was waiting for someone to follow her out. Once she was steps away from the car, she practically jogged over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Shelby said, almost shoving the ring into Toni’s palm. “I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni reached over to grab hold of Shelby’s hand, preventing her from straying any further from the car than she already had. “Wait a sec,” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go back,” Shelby’s eyes were wide as she attempted to gently tug her hand back from Toni, but Toni was a little stronger. “I don’t want him wondering where I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to calm down,” Toni tried, scared to let go of the blonde’s hand in case she just bolted down the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know him like I do,” Shelby almost laughed. She glanced over her shoulder; no one was there. “Look, you have your ring. That’s all you came for, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni just looked at her. It was probably the longest that they’d stared at each other. Shelby was almost panting, probably for a bundle of reasons. There was a look in her eyes that Toni couldn’t quite decipher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Shelby’s mind, she was just waiting for Toni to try and address the night before. Internally she was begging her not to, begging her to follow through with what she said about “</span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever happens tonight can stay in the room.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” God, Shelby felt sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni took a deep breath, then broke eye contact and released her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that was all.” Toni said, putting both hands back on the steering wheel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All she heard after that was Shelby’s hurried steps making their way back down the street. Toni watched as she wrapped her hands around her arms and started to power walk. She looked back over her shoulder, only for a second, then disappeared into the pathway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looked at the ring in her hand, slipped it back onto her finger and huffed. She would probably never get Shelby to talk about what had happened. In fact, she was more than sure that Shelby would take it to the grave. Toni didn’t like that plan. It didn’t sit well with her; she didn’t think something like that should be something you had to keep to yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, there was nothing more she could do in that particular moment. So she started up her car and drove away, deciding to let Shelby try her best to eschew the situation. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) p.s. I'm taking a break from social media, so if you follow me on twitter and you're noticing my lifeless account ((i literally never tweet anyway)) that is why.</p><p>-f.<br/>@lgbtfay</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A week before Leah’s birthday, was her grandmother’s 75th. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah, years ago, had started up a tradition of giving her at least one handmade present. This year, she’d gone with cupcakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to do it completely from scratch. So, early that morning, she went to her nearest supermarket and got all of the supplies she would need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she got back home, she threw her hair up into a bun, laid out all her ingredients on the island in her kitchen, and then stared at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had no idea where to start. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her first attempt at the sponge got tossed in the trash, because she’d added way too much flour and it was literally solid. The second attempt was too wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now she was getting frustrated. Who was she kidding, anyway? Attempting to do this alone. This should have been fun. There should be friends about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her phone from her pocket and created a group chat with Toni and Shelby.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Leah - 09:37: I know it’s early, but I’m currently trying to make a batch of cupcakes (from scratch) for my Grandmother’s birthday tomorrow. It is not going very well. Please come help? ASAP!?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept the app open, hoping to get a response right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 09:38: Well, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard!!! I’ll be there as soon as my dad has finished the appointment he has this morning</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Whilst waiting for a reply from Toni, Leah decided to read over the method she had found on the internet and wait patiently for help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni was pulling her jeans from the dryer, trying not to get frustrated by the yelling coming from her foster brothers in the next room. The trailer could be so fucking loud sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as she managed to retrieve her jeans, her phone lit up beside her and she caught up with the two messages she had missed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 09:43: Leah, you’re such a nerd. I’ll be there soon.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni used to hate the idea of being around Shelby simply because she didn’t like her, and found her extroverted ways really fucking annoying (and fake). But now, she had the added angst of Shelby being painfully off with her. She preferred it when they gave each other evil eyes and snarky comments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to get back to that...or something more civil.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 09:50: Hey. I just saw your message about having to wait for your dad to drop you off. I’m leaving in like ten minutes, if you want me to come and pick you up.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew that Shelby’s answer would probably be a firm ‘no’, but she thought it was worth mentioning it anyway...and maybe, she’d try her best to sway her.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shelby - 09:54: Apparently this session is scheduled for an additional hour, and I don’t want to be late for Leah so...could you pick me up on the corner?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni did not like being deducted to the corner of the street. It was only the other week that Shelby was happier for her to not only park out front, but have her dad watch her get into the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toni - 09:55: Ok. Leaving soon.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby brushed through her hair before placing a pretty, baby blue headband on top of her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d been feeling somewhat confident and sure of herself over the past few days; so the idea of having to now be in close proximity with Toni was something that she worried would throw her off, but she was able to bury that doubt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Internally, Shelby had blocked out everything that had happened that night. She hoped that Toni wouldn’t try to bring it up again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a knock on her bedroom door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in,” Shelby called, placing her hairbrush into her bedside drawer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother eyed her up and down.  “Are you heading out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Leah asked if I could go over and help her with some baking.” Shelby told her with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother didn’t ask any further questions. She knew and trusted Leah, so never fretted when Shelby went off with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s phone pinged as soon as her mother left the room. Toni was here already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked around, grabbed her jacket and called to her mother that she was leaving. She waved her off placidly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hum of Toni’s exhausted car just a few doors down from her house was a sudden cause of concern for Shelby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why had she parked so close? Shelby was sure that she’d instructed her to park on the corner again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you doing?” She asked, pulling open the passenger door and slipping inside quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni frowned. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you to park on the corner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was easier to get you here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I asked you to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing you a favour; don’t push your luck.” Toni shook her head in annoyance before indicating out her parking space as speeding off, causing the back of Shelby’s head to bump the headrest behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘<em>Well, that’s a good start</em>’ Toni thought to herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I preferred it when we just threw petty insults at each other.” Toni could feel the irritation starting to burn at her skin. “Resorting to </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> all because of a stupid fucking kiss, is ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby squirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re meant to be getting along, for Leah’s sake. So good fucking luck explaining to her the reason why we’re now worse than we ever were before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said whatever happened would stay in the room,” Shelby’s voice trembled as she argued back, her pitch high and laced with faux confidence. “So why do I feel like both of the times I’ve seen you since then, you’ve just been itching to mention it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni halted at a stop light and turned to look at Shelby, her expression blank. “I was talking about your dreams. It was supposed to be a joke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby felt her chest cave in, like a whole had just opened right up and was about to swallow all her major organs. She just looked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah didn’t live too far away, and soon enough they were pulling up outside. The car had barely even stopped when Shelby was scrambling to get out of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the door opened, she seemed to take on a complete facade. Her smile was bright, her voice comforting and warm. Toni was dumbfounded by it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them dive right into the cake making. The only time Toni and Shelby interact is if the other needs something that’s near them, and they politely ask (without even looking at each other): “Hey, could you hand me that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni sighed in relief as soon as the cakes went into the oven to bake. She was just about to go and make herself comfortable on the couch when she noticed Leah searching for something on top of the kitchen island.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” Leah huffed to herself, fighting her way through all the different types of packaging they’d just gone through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Shelby placed her hand on top of Leah’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leah groaned, then stopped searching. “I forgot the fucking icing. I’ll have to go back to the store,” She checked her pocket for her car keys which jingled in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looked at Shelby, then at Leah. Fuck that. “I can go for you,” She volunteered a little too frantically. But there was no way in hell she was sitting alone with Shelby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s okay. I need a specific type of icing and...I’d have no idea how to explain it to you. I don’t even know the name of it, I just know the packaging.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, she had no way of arguing with that; despite the way her mouth opened like she was about to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then seconds later, it was just the two of them standing on either side of the island. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby rested her hands on the counter and harrumphed. Toni’s phone pinged, and she checked it before making her way to the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surely she wasn’t just going to walk out? Shelby thought to herself. She sort of wished she would, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, sorry.” Shelby heard Toni say. “I didn’t realise that I wouldn’t be home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s fine.” Another girl laughed softly. Shelby peered her head around the doorway. “I just wanted to bring you these.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Regan, and she was revealing a box of chocolates from behind her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to…” Toni was acting quite meek. Shelby couldn’t ever recall a time she’d witnessed her being this way. Was this the sort of hold Regan had over her? She was sure that she’d heard Toni say there was nothing between her and Regan anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, it was the least I could do.” Regan tucked a loose strand of perfectly fallen hair behind her ear. “You’ve been really great to me these past few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d have done the same for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regan shrugged coyly. “Well, still.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them said anything afterwards. Shelby continued to peer in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I better get back, anyways.” Regan gestured towards her car and took a step back. “I’ll text you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Toni fiddled with the door handle. “Yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby quickly made her way back to the island just as Toni came back into the kitchen, setting the chocolates to one side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looked as if she was about to say something, but seemingly decided against it when she pulled her phone from her pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you texting her already? She only just left.” Shelby heard herself saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually. I was just trying to kill time so that I don’t have to talk to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby just scoffed. “I thought you were done with Regan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that it’s any of your business,” Toni slipped her phone away. “But her grandfather passed away a couple of days ago. I’ve been trying to help her out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Checking in on her,” Toni shrugged. “Seeing if she needed anything, going for a drive if that’s what she needs, or just watching a movie together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby gritted her teeth and looked towards the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would have probably known about it if you hadn’t gone awol after kissing me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni broke into a soft laugh. “Shelby, there’s literally nobody here.” She gestured to the vast emptiness around them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby shook her head. “This is exactly why I’m struggling to be around you. I mean, I obviously can’t trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t uttered a word to anyone, Shelby. Other than trying to at least address it with you, which is apparently impossible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby looked up, finally locking eyes with the other girl. She was just about to open her mouth when the front door clicked open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got the icing!”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry that this is a lil short, i have written in a few weeks so im a little rusty lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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